My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
