I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
whose ass print is on the piano?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Randomize
