She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
That's how pantless uber rides happen
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize