do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
