I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
