Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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