This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize