No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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