party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
