your room smells of hookers.
And success
I puked a lego.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize