can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
