I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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