What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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