I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize