I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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