Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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