She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize