i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
