i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
