I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
