Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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