he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
