My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
