i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
