Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
