ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize