No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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