Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
