got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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