wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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