I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
