oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
