But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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