ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i wish my penis had a tongue
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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