holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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