Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
How does it feel to date your dad?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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