I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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