Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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