I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
