uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize