dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
the liver wants what the liver wants
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
