lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I cut my penus on the lid.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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