What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Randomize
