This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
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