My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
