dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize