You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize