I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
