Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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