theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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