you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I DEMAND FORESKIN
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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