Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
