when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
