Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
