if you like me you must not know who I am
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
