What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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