My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
